Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize