I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize