I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
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