Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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