Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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