I have demons in me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
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We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
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I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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