WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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