Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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