we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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