it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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