I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize