like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
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for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
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I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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