My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize