i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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