it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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