i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hippo gnu deer
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize