im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
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A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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