haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize