The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
time to smoke my breakfast
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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