he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize