She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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