I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize