that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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