Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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