the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize