he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize