I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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