I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
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If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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