Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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