Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize