all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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