Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize