Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize