She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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