I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sponge bath it is.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
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you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize