Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize