Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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