i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
please come you make the beer taste better
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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