i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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