i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
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The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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