I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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