Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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