my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize