Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize