Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize