they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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