How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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