Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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