I'm so fucking centered right now
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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