He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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