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  • 83 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:47pm

    that's why the wedding dress is white.

  • 87 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 7:45pm

    My ex and I used "making a sandwich" as a euphemism for sex

  • 92 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 25, 10 at 7:55pm

    Sounds like something Tucker Max's friend Slingblade would say

  • 84 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 3:50pm

    Your husband is a lucky man 3:34.

  • 79 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 7:06am

    im a guy and this thread pisses me the fuck off

  • 78 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:58pm

    why don't woman need wristwatches? there is a clock on the stove.

  • 79 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:08pm

    haha. i'm a woman, and i should be offended by such, but honestly, thats effin hilarious.

  • 75 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:48pm

    What a dick...........

  • 83 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 11:16pm

    Beautiful women don't have to cook. We're beautiful.

  • 74 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 9:08pm

    8:50, you'll mind when your husband leaves you for a younger woman and you have no means of supporting yourself.

  • 75 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:19pm

    well played 2:08 why are all sexist people considered redneck? I only fucked my sister twice.

  • 73 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 1:30am

    fucking asshole...i don't cook or clean...that's what whipped men r for :)

  • 72 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 4:30pm

    haha that is fuckin hilarious, and whoever made that stainless steel joke above, i take my hat off to you sir

  • 71 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 7:20pm

    Yes and all you men need to go to war and get your bitchasses killed for your country.

  • 78 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:20pm

    It's not a redneck, it's the President of Formula 1 racing, Bernie Ecclestone. He is also quoted as saying Hitler "got things done".

  • 64 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 2:19am

    yo, women who think this is funny don't have a good sense of humor, they just don't know any better. same for anyone else.

  • 73 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 6:26pm

    hahaha, this is great. I've been told that I'm a traitor to my gender, but these are so hilarious that all those other women need to lighten up. You ever notice that when women make fun of men, men laugh, but when men make fun of women, we take offense?

  • 75 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 6:07am

    Men are able to do anything, for instance, How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you

  • 75 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 9:29pm

    Holly Horton on TSN's Sportscentre this morning while wearing a white coat... "I guess that makes me a Maytag"

  • 79 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 5:07pm

    this isn't even your own text you copied it from that woman on that sports center show or wtv...

  • 72 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 10:25pm

    What's a beatiful woman like you doing out of the kitchen?

  • 74 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 7:09am

    FYI to all the people saying that 'its a joke' it is not a joke, Ecclestone was serious when saying this

  • 76 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 1:24pm

    don't worry your pretty little head, darlin, sometimes we men say some gosh darn awful things because deep down we just feel so inferior what with not being able to have babies and such. now here's $20, go buy yourself something nice.

  • 74 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 5:52pm

    yay for ladies with a sense of humor...

  • 79 80
    Submitted by destructo on Jun 8, 10 at 9:03pm

    7:06 am, you must be one of those man purse wearing extroverted vagina havin pussies that thinks all women want is a sensitive guy to talk about feelings and their period. Fucking lighten up pussaholic and have a laugh, it might help you to pull your head right out of your ass so you can take a breath and get some oxygen to your brain, that way you can think clearly! Have a sense of humor, douche!

  • 66 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 11:01am

    10:37 shut your mouth, women are to be seen and not heard

  • 68 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 9:46am

    what do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? nothing she hasn't been told twice

  • 69 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:45pm

    Good old Bernie Ecclestone.

  • 67 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:44pm

    ouch. well he'll regret it when he's still a virgin in 15 years.

  • 76 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 1:25am

    really, femenazis, just chill out. the text was just saying what some other person said. im a girl, and i find it funny.

  • 72 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 3:37pm

    How does every thread turn into a fat chick discussion? You people have issues.

  • 65 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 3:05pm

    This is frickin' funny (and I'm a girl)

  • 71 68
    Submitted by DeadpoolNV on Apr 9, 10 at 2:23am

    I guess we need to switch it from the rule of thumb to the rule of wrist, cuz thumb anint keepen thim in line no more! Heuck!

  • 78 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 9:11pm

    Dear 8:50, it's totally fine if you want to stay home and do that stuff. However, do you really wish to be treated like crap while you're doing it? Do you want your husband to think there is nothing great or remarkable about you taking care of the house, just see it as something you are dutybound to do?

  • 63 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:21pm

    he isn't a redneck. he is a european formula 1 boss. he said that after danica patrick was rumored to want to join f1.

  • 70 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 19, 10 at 6:37am

    Hahahaha... I get. It's funny cause women are good for nothing, no talent, screw-ups who should just shut up and make me a sammich already

  • 70 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 9:46pm

    He's outdated. Modern appliances are mainly done in black and stainless steel.

  • 68 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:57pm

    they also have shorter feet so they can get closer to the sink

  • 75 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 4:52pm

    in the early 1900s, it was legal for a man to beat his wife, as long as the stick was no wider than his thumb....ah the good ol days

  • 71 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 6:31pm

    6:26: STFU and show your tits.

  • 69 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:27pm

    well 2:26, isn't their a sandwich that needs making somewhere?

  • 76 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:01pm

    im sure the votes for bad nights are from women, and good nights are from men. hahaha

  • 68 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 4:53pm

    hahahaha. wow. i'm a woman and prob should be offended.. but its so fucking hilarious..haha

  • 74 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 5:16pm

    just for the record, that was a quote by Formula 1 Racing President Bernie Ecclestone. He also said in the same interview that "Hitler got stuff done". So yeah....you miiiight call him a douche.

  • 69 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 4:16pm

    haha I love the mindless chatter of a man who lost his job to a woman...it makes me so deeply happy :-)

  • 65 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 10:37am

    9:11, women who appreciate jokes such as these are the exact type of confident women who would never be in a relationship with somebody that disrespectful to begin with. get yours stay at home mom.

  • 66 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:44pm

    Halfrican! Hahahahahahaha!

  • 60 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 7:41pm

    hahaha I don't know why women would get offended this is a hilarious quote

  • 67 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 4:31pm

    why dont men want to marry fat chicks? because they eat everything LOLOLOLOL

  • 68 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 3:34pm

    lmao. I love this. If my husband ever told me any of this, I'd prob get in the kitchen and make him a sammich just cuz he had the balls to say it to me. Haha. Naked, like my kitchen appliances.

  • 64 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:07pm

    Stay in the kitchen where you belong woman.

  • 72 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 8:50pm

    i hate feminist freaks..and i'm a girl hell i don't mind if one day i'm a stay-at-home wife

  • 60 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:44pm

    Fat chicks wouldn't be breeding at all if it weren't for all the black guys who love them and impregnate them with all those little halfrican kids!

  • 62 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 4:07pm

    it's a joke. get over it. -a female.

  • 61 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 7:45pm

    I'm not offended. It saves time when men wear their "HEY! I'M A BASTARD!" sign right on their chests. That way you know which ones to avoid.

  • 60 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:24pm

    Bernie Ecclestone huh? This is the first I've heard of him but he is now my hero.

  • 65 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:08pm

    All my appliances are stainless steel, so I guess I could wrap the bitch in aluminum foil. . .

  • 57 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 7, 10 at 8:32pm

    Women are like plants they should be buried before their grown

  • 61 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 6:09pm

    All boys on this post dont get ass and are bitter.

  • 60 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:29pm

    i sort of agree, fat chicks should wear white because they should all be put to work since we dont want them to breed

  • 63 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 7:38pm

    3:34, why the fuck didn't you marry a man who had enough money to pay for a maid and a cook. Men's place, after all, is to fork over money constantly for every whim and desire of his wife. I mean, if we're going to be shitty to the ladies, let's remind the men of their obligations.

  • 59 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 22, 09 at 11:45pm

    This is an old joke. Why are wedding dresses white? So the dishwasher will match the other appliances. Sheesh. So he famously was noted a copy cat.

  • 59 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:19pm

    2:08 pm, Freakin funny

  • 56 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 4:09pm

    3:34, please teach other women to TAKE A FUCKING JOKE

  • 58 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:33pm

    2:26 has daddy issues!!!

  • 59 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:20pm

    i'm gonna make my woman dress in white from now on

  • 59 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 5:54pm

    why do fat women get laid? guys have low self esteem too LOLOLOL

  • 60 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 4:39pm

    my ex used to tell me to get in the kitchen and make him some pie. i died laughing every time. i should be offended by this, but alas, i'm not.

  • 54 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 1:44pm

    well you want the dishwasher to match the refrigerator don't you?

  • 57 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 8, 09 at 1:27am

    however, while all of the guys here are LOLing about this, the next guy i meet who can prove he is a femenist is getting blown. now THAT takes you being secure in your manhood

  • 55 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:26pm

    rednecks, whitetrash, bigots, uneducated, etc. theyre all the same to me.

  • 58 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:13pm

    redneck assholes, join the 21st century you douchebags.

  • 60 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 6:42am

    ... You people are all fucking crazy.

  • 58 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 6:04pm

    hahahahaha im a woman, and i find demeaning jokes funny too. just don't think about it for too long.

  • 57 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:23pm

    Well, Hitler did get things done, they were horrible and disgusting, but done with extreme effeciency

  • 53 74
    Submitted by janesaddiction on Sep 4, 10 at 12:05am

    I have a sense of humor and it's pretty perverted some times but this isn't funny it falls flat. As for the slingblade comment he fell in love with the stripper and became puss-whipped. The only reason women should be in the kitchen or anywhere else is to fix a mans mistake.

  • 53 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 7:15pm

    i dont know how to cook.

  • 36 45
    Submitted by choke_me on Jan 9, 12 at 9:17pm

    Lmao!!!!!

  • 60 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 14, 09 at 11:32am

    there are apparently more boys on this site than men, and more also than women if more people said good night than bad night.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 7, 09 at 12:26pm

    my girlfriend told me the best sexist joke i've ever heard. she's a keeper. what's the best part about a blowjob? 10 minutes of silence

  • 50 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 3:01pm

    why couldn't helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

  • 53 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 6, 09 at 2:18pm

    fucking amzing keep them in thier place

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:38am

    Get a sense of humor people