I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize